Why Posting on Social Media Feels So Hard (And How to Show Up Authentically)

Why Does Something as Simple as Posting on Social Media Feel So Complicated?

For me, it’s not just about the fear of being judged - it’s about wrestling with a much bigger, scarier question:

What if the real me isn’t enough?

Years ago, I watched a show (Black Mirror, anyone?) where every social interaction was rated on a scale of one to five stars. Your ratings determined your job, your home, your entire worth. It was meant to be an extreme take on social media, but I remember watching it and thinking, Okay, but is it really that far off?

At the time, I had already quit social media for about five years. It just wasn’t good for my mental health. Seeing my exes’ posts made healing impossible, and social media felt less like a way to connect and more like a mirror reflecting back every single insecurity I had.

Before Facebook introduced “likes,” I could post freely. You know, the cringey posts we look back on today and wonder, What was I thinking? But once the “like” button appeared, it all changed. 

Suddenly, I was posting and staring at my phone, waiting- hoping - that someone would validate what I had to say. If nothing happened within, oh, two minutes? Delete.

I didn’t want the world to see that I was unlovable. That nothing I had to say was good enough.

Ironically, most of my old FB posts were just quotes I really loved. So basically, I was waiting for someone to validate other people’s thoughts.

The Fear of Being Seen

We all have that one thing we deeply crave. For me, it’s to be fully seen and loved for exactly who I am, flaws and all.

And the ironic thing is - it also terrifies me the most.

What if people don’t like what they see? What if being seen means being judged?

That fear was front and center when I decided to start an online business. I knew social media would have to be part of the equation - there was no way around it. And yet, the thought of putting myself out there, of showing up in a way that felt raw and vulnerable, made me sick.

But I pushed forward. I created a new Instagram account and logged on, only to feel like a fish out of water. Everything was fast-paced reels, curated aesthetics, and perfectly crafted hooks. I felt lost in this new world - what happened to the days of everyone just posting pictures of their food?

So, I did what most new business owners do—I took courses on how to grow my Instagram following. A lot of them. An actual embarrassing amount of them.

And despite everything I learned, none of it changed how I felt about social media.

The Hardest Part: My Friends

Every time I posted, I’d get stuck in a loop:

Will people like this? What do my friends think of me? Is this stupid? Am I stupid?

The hardest part wasn’t strangers- it was my friends. I’d picture them scrolling past my posts, rolling their eyes.

"Does she think she’s some kind of influencer now?"
"Who does she think she is?"

I’ve probably created at least ten different Instagram accounts trying to hide from people I knew… but somehow, they always found me. I couldn’t escape this constant voice in my head whispering, Does she even know what she’s talking about? What in the world is she doing?

It made every post feel like walking into a room full of people silently judging me.

And what I find so strange is that the people you expect to be the most supportive often… aren’t. Their silence, their indifference - it felt louder than anything else. It left me second-guessing everything.

Is this too much?
Does this make sense?
Am I trying too hard?

It was exhausting. More times than I can count, I quit. And for a little while, I’d feel relief.

But deep down, I knew I wasn’t quitting because I didn’t care.

I was quitting because I cared too much.

And I didn’t know how to handle it.

The Pressure to Keep It Light

One of the things that made social media so uncomfortable for me was the pressure to keep it light.

I’ll never forget the time I met with a career astrologer who looked me dead in the eye and said, “People aren’t interested in going deep.”

No emotion. No dramatic delivery. Just a fact.

Around the same time, I was listening to a podcast by a social media strategist who kept repeating the same advice every week:

"Keep it light. Don’t go too deep. People don’t want deep."

So I tried. I made my content shorter, simpler, more surface-level. I told myself, This is what works. This is what people want.

But the thing is- I love deep. Like love, love deep.

Deep conversations. Deep insights. Deep connections.

I’m a Scorpio rising, after all. This is me.

And if I’m trying to show up authentically, I can’t hide the parts of me that make me me.

Depth is where I feel most alive.

When I tried to tone myself down, it felt like I was dimming my own light.

I wasn’t just afraid of being seen - I was afraid of being seen for something that wasn’t true to me.

Fear or Intuition?

For the last two years, I assumed my struggle with social media was just fear—fear of being judged, fear of being rejected, fear that I wasn’t good enough.

And yeah, that was definitely part of it.

But looking back, I realize there was something else underneath it.

It wasn’t just fear—it was my intuition whispering, “This isn’t right for you.”

At first, I thought the problem was me. I told myself, If I just push through this discomfort, I’ll get over it.

But…what if that resistance wasn’t fear at all?

What if it was my intuition trying to get my attention?

Learning to Listen to Myself

I heard something recently that finally made it all click:

Self-trust grows when we lean into self-doubt.

Not push through it.
Not ignore it.
Listen to it.

Because sometimes, self-doubt is just fear we need to work through.

But sometimes? It’s a signal. A way of saying, This isn’t aligned.

Looking back, I realize my self-doubt wasn’t about whether I was capable.

It was about whether what I was doing actually felt true to me.

Practicing What I Preach

If I want to guide others to live authentically, I have to start with myself.

That means trusting my own voice, even when it’s not what “works.”

It also means making peace with being seen—not perfectly, but authentically.

Not everyone will get me. Not everyone will like what I have to say.

And that’s okay.

Because when I show up as myself, the right people will see me.

Being seen isn’t about perfection.

It’s about connection.

And if no one reads this? That’s okay too.

Because by writing this, I’ve reminded myself of something I almost forgot:

Showing up authentically isn’t about being seen by everyone—it’s about being true to myself.