Realigning with Yourself: Small Steps to a More Authentic Life
Every time I pull into my driveway, I have this fleeting but persistent thought:
Whose life am I living?
It’s not that I don’t like our house. It’s a good house in a great neighborhood with plenty of space for our three boys. It checks all the boxes we had when we were house-hunting six months ago: budget, number of bedrooms, lots of children in the neighborhood, and - most importantly -a top-rated school district (the actual reason we moved here).
But even though we chose this house for all the right reasons, it doesn’t feel like me. Or even like us.
Instead, it feels like the life we’re supposed to live- a practical, responsible life built around things like school zones and resale value. And while those are totally valid priorities, there’s this part of me that can’t shake the question:
How did I get so far away from myself?
And if this is where I am now… where will I be in a few years?
A Weekend That Felt Like Me
Last weekend, my husband and I took a trip to Asheville for my birthday, and suddenly, everything came into focus.
My husband planned the whole thing, and I mean, he did such a good job.
He found a boutique hotel with a mountain boho vibe - exactly the kind of cozy, intentional design I love. The kind that made me think, Oh right, I used to dream about owning a bed and breakfast. A dream I had buried so deep, I almost forgot how much it meant to me.
He scheduled a masssage (my absolute favorite form of self-care) at the most peaceful spa. We ate at farm-to-table restaurants where every bite felt thoughtful, intentional, alive. And not just that - it felt good knowing we were supporting local businesses. One restaurant even donated 100% of their biscuit sales to hurricane relief efforts for employees affected by the recent storm. It was a reminder that where we spend our time and money matters.
We visited a local bookstore (because of course I can’t resist buying books), wandered through small shops, and soaked in the city’s creative energy.
I wasn’t glued to my phone. I checked it maybe twice - once to see the time and once to check in with my kids. And for the first time in a long time, I was fully present.
Asheville had this effortless, relaxed energy, and I noticed it most in the people.
So many women embraced a natural, cozy style. It wasn’t uncommon to see women with little to no makeup, dining at beautiful restaurants, looking completely comfortable - not just in their clothes, but in themselves.
And there I was, at 40, trying out new trends just so I wouldn’t look “old” or “frumpy.” And the reality was…those trends weren’t me.
Watching these women—their ease, their confidence—reminded me of who I really am. And it made me wonder…
Why am I not living like this?
Why am I chasing an idea of who I should be instead of embracing who I already am?
What Does Living in Alignment Mean?
That question stuck with me. It made me realize how far I’ve drifted from living a life that truly reflects my values and who I am at my core.
For me, living in alignment means creating a life that reflects what I care about most - creativity, connection, beauty, and intentionality. It means surrounding myself with spaces, people, and experiences that feel alive and full of meaning.
My husband asked me to pose with my birthday card, and needless to say, I felt quite silly.
And in Asheville, alignment was everywhere.
The whole weekend reminded me how important it is to slow down, savor the moment, and reconnect - with myself, with my husband, and with the life I want to build.
And when we came home, I realized something: while moving to Asheville isn’t going to happen, that doesn’t mean I can’t start living in alignment.
Finding Alignment Without Uprooting Your Life
I’ve learned that you don’t have to completely uproot your life to start living in alignment. Small, intentional shifts can make a big difference.
Here are a few ways I’m bringing more of what feels like me into my current life:
Creating a Sanctuary at Home
The hotel we stayed in was thoughtfully designed with cozy textures, natural materials, and boho touches. I’m bringing that energy into our home by adding small things that make me feel good: more plants (always more plants), soft lighting, and earthy decor.Prioritizing Connection
One of my favorite parts of the weekend was the deep conversations my husband and I had over dinner. With three kids, regular date nights aren’t always realistic, but we can still be intentional about making time for real connection.Infusing Everyday Life with Creativity
Asheville’s creative energy reminded me how much I thrive when I’m creating. For me, that might look like writing more, dreaming about my bed-and-breakfast idea, or even just making space for beauty - like visiting a local farmer’s market or spending time in nature.Living With Intention
One thing I loved about Asheville was how intentional everything felt - from the food to the spaces to the way people seemed to move through life. It reminded me to slow down, savor the moment, and make choices that reflect what I value most.Unplugging More Often
Not being tied to my phone during the weekend was one of the most freeing feelings. I’m working on being more present in my daily life by putting my phone down more and focusing on the moments right in front of me.Wearing What Feels Like Me
Seeing how effortlessly the women in Asheville embraced their natural style made me rethink how I was approaching my own wardrobe. I had been trying to force myself into trends that didn’t actually feel like me. So when I got home, I tucked away the trendy clothes I had bought out of obligation and brought out the ones that truly reflect who I am. (And now I laugh and roll my eyes at myself when I see them.)
How You Can Start Living in Alignment
If you’ve ever felt like you’re living someone else’s life - or like the decisions you’ve made don’t fully reflect you - I want you to know:
I get it.
It’s so easy to prioritize what’s practical or expected and then wake up one day wondering, Where am I in all of this?
Thankfully, you don’t have to flip your life upside down to start living in alignment.
Here are some questions that have helped me get clearer about what matters most—maybe they’ll help you, too:
I could have spent all the hours and all the dollars in this store.
What makes you feel most like yourself?
Think about the moments when you feel alive, connected, and at ease. How can you create more of those feelings in your daily life?What do you really value?
If you feel disconnected from yourself, look at your values. Are you living them? Or have they gotten buried under obligations and expectations?
(If you’d like to reflect on your values by looking at a list, you can find one here: https://www.rileylgrant.com/s/Core-Values.pdf
3. What’s one small change you can make today?
Alignment doesn’t have to mean a complete overhaul. Small shifts add up.
4. How can you nurture your dreams?
Even if a big dream isn’t possible right now, can you take one small step toward it?
It’s About the Little Things
Living in alignment isn’t about perfection.
It’s about choosing yourself—one small, intentional step at a time.
So… what’s one small thing you can do today to bring yourself back to you?
